Love Story part 5

What then is my love story.  It is a love story with God and David.  David and I didn't start off the easy way, God's way and for the first couple years of our marriage we paid.  But once we put God in control every year has gotten better and better. 

The Bible says in Matthew 6:33 to seek first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness, then all these things shall be added unto you.  Once we put God first things did go so much better.  So to those who are single I encourage you to Seek God first in all that you do.  Seeking romantic relationships is not God's best.  Get your focus on God and when you find someone whose focus is also on God you will both be headed in the right direction.  It is like a triangle where at the bottom corner is you and when God places someone in your life for your spouse they are the other bottom corner.  With both of you walking toward God he is the top of your triange and the closer you walk to God the closer your walk with each other will be.  The more David and I seek God and his will the closer we get to each other and the more joy and love there is in our life because God is Love and love without God is a struggle. 

In Proverbs 4:23 it said to guard your heart.  Your first love needs to be God, he will give you the desires of your heart.  If he gives you a desire for a spouse he will give you a spouse.  Guard your heart from those who would like to take pieces of your heart away.  And likewise don't be that person who takes peices of anothers heart.  Remove distractions that are not of God.  I have found the more I serve God and others, the more I don't notice my own selfishness, the hapier I am.  JOY is Jesus, others, yourself.  Guarding your heart means to put a hedge around what is going in your heart and that includes romantic relationships that are not in Gods time or Gods will.

Song of Solomn warns of not awaking love.  What a wonderful love story it is when we see someone who waited for that person God had for them.  Entered the marriage with their heart only given to God then to their spouse.  That is good fruit, fruit that endures.  As one waits pray.  Pray for that person who will one day have your heart or the heart of your child.  They need your prayer!!!  David and I pray all the time for our children's future spouse.  We want their hearts and lives protected also. 

Ecclesiastes reminds us that to everything there is a season.  Don't rush through the seasons that God has planned for you to satisfy the flesh.  

I hope someone out there can be blessed by this.  If you are a parent please encourage your child to seek God first.   David and I are not perfect parents. Our kids struggle the same as others and are also not perfect.  But as parents let's do the best we can to show them and encourage them to God's best. 

In a couple days David and I will be celebrating our 21st anniversary.  Join me for a fun post and a celebration of the wonderful gift of marriage.  May our marriages be ones of God's design. 

Alicia

Love Story part 4

Proverbs 4:23  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. 

Now life really began.  We were poor college students but really didn't know how poor we were.  We had each other and God.  But we had something else....baggage.  Here we were at 19 and yet we had baggage.  Some laugh at me when I talk of my "rebellious years."  By the standard today it wasn't much, but when I hold myself accountable to God's standards I realize I fall short.  As a young child I gave my heart to God.  I truly loved the Lord and yet I made mistakes.  I guess what I want is to share what I have learned.

In our early years of marriage we had so much growth.  So much to get over.  We had to learn to love unselfishly, a work still in progress.  The whole thought process that occurs in dating of breaking up is not an option in marriage.  The images of serving self is all over. 

After a few years of marriage we were serving as youth lay ministers.  This was the first time we had been introduced to dating as a bad thing.  David and I sat in awe as we soaked in how God's plan for finding a spouse should not include dating until you are ready to get married.  Can you imagine what a gift I could have given to David if I could have given him my whole heart?  He is so funny about any reference to a past boy friend.   So for our own children we encourage them to wait on dating until they are ready for marriage.    They have friends and do things with friends and although I know things are about to change as they are getting older, relationships have not been a big issue.   I look forward to the day when God shows them that someone he has for them, but until that time let's avoid as much drama as possible. 

The book I kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris was a very good start for us to change our thought pattern.   It is good to not allow dating relationships to interfere with your relationship with God.  Your youth is a time to grow in Christ and to serve others.  The pattern of getting together and breaking up sets up a pattern for divorce.  Dating also sets the stage for unnecessary heart ache and can truly split a youth group wide apart.

A lady at our church wrote a paper on modern dating.  In it she told that the origins of dating comes from prostitutes.  Dates were what they called the men they were with.  Isn't it sad that this is what is now the process by which many find a spouse.  This was mans way of fulfilling the lust of the flesh and not Gods way of finding a companion to represent Christ and the church.

I encourage you to really think what dating really is.  How the television shows we watch, the movies we go to and the music we listen to focus on wrong relationships, relationships focused on self, dating as recreation, and sex outside of marriage.   Youth should be a time to grow in God and build a strong relationship with Him, serve others, and find God's plan for you life.  I encourage you to set boundaries for yourself or to help your children set boundaries for themselves before they start giving their hearts away.  After Pastor Mark's Purity series, when David and I were youth lay ministers, we began to talk to our two little children at that time about not having relationships before they were married.  We told them it would be best to save their first kiss for their wedding.  My son was in his preschool class at church when a little girl next to him asked him for a kiss.  He told her he couldn't kiss until he was married.  So she explained to him that he could be the daddy and she would be the mommy.  Funny, but David and I were there to intervene and it gave us a heads up on how young these things start.  A couple of wonderful books are Keeping Our Children's Hearts by the Maxwell's and Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarrah Mally. 

In dating one is focused on your own self.  How does this person meet my needs.   How do they make me feel.  My youth should have been focused on God and God's plan for my life.  Then when I had met David at God's appointed time my focus should have been if this is the man God has for me how can I bless him. God has so given me back everything the devil tried to take away and our marriage, though not perfect, is absolutely amazing.   My desire is to encourage others to take a stance for purity.  Look at how you dress, talk, love, watch, listen, and your beliefs.  Do they glorify God? 

Philippians 4:8  Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Love Story part 3

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...A time to love, and a time to hate a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ok so now the fairytale begins. Right?  We began the planning of the wedding.  The wedding that I had been planning all my life.  Complete with fufu dresses and a train.  How exciting it was.  I loved picking out the dress, the cake, the napkins, the invitation, the ceremony, the registry.  David didn't have a lot of input and I was so glad because after all I had been planning this for years.  Everything, at least from my point of view went wonderful.  I don't remember much drama, others remember a bit more.  David and I always had our discussions as my mother called them but isn't that how a relationship was supposed to be.  If someone made you unhappy you be sure and let them know. 

Then the day came, March 19, 1990.  We were both 19 and so excited.  My grandfather officiated the wedding and I couldn't be more thrilled.  My daddy calmed me as the wedding march began and for a minute I teared up as I thought this was the last time I would be daddy's little girl.  We started down the aisle and there stood my groom.  Dressed so handsome and he began to choke up.  He said that he thought I was so beautiful it took his breath away.  He held my hand through the ceremony and I remember thinking "He really does love me."  The wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch, except for one of the singers hair caught on fire as she stood too close to the candle opera.  The reception was perfect and we were finally man and wife. 

David and Alicia

David and my grandpa ready to start

My dad walking me down the aisle

finally Husband and Wife

Off we went on our honey moon.  We probably looked like kids as we dressed in our matching outfits and boarded an airplane for our romantic trip to Disneyland.  It was just amazing.  We got a little sun burned but what a way to start a marriage, complete with breakfast with Micky and Minnie.  Then the honey moon was over.  We were on spring break headed back home.  Got home quite late and were awakened by a phone call.  David was late for a raquet ball tournament and off he went. 

here we are at the airport in our matching sweats and t-shirts